Emily's Fate
by KarismaJulian4Ever
Summary: A twist on Emily's Quest. Emily's still engaged to Dean and pays a visit to Montreal...trying to forget those memories that have haunted her in Blair Water. Will she be able to? COMPLETE!
1. Something

_Hi! How are you? Well, this is the first Emily fanfic I've dared to write. I hope you all like it. I live for reviews! Good or bad (well, just don't hurt my feelings and tell me it stinks!) ! So please let me know how you like it! I appreciate constructive criticism as well!_  
  
_OK, I just wanted to clarify the time period and change a few things. I know it was specified in the books, that if Emily were to marry, it would be when she was 20. Now, I have increased her age a bit to 23..she is still engaged to Dean, the "gazing ball" incident HAS occurred (but Emily still does not break the engagement), and Teddy has not written that letter to Emily mentioning that incident...oh yes, and he is a famous artist. No more magazine publications for him :)  
  
I wrote this in part because I was sort of disappointed by the ending of **Emily's Quest.**..they just settled everything in a couple hours, all of those misunderstandings? Just like that? They hadn't even talked to each other for the last 5 years! And why did he come back? Why, after so many "turn downs," did he decide to do so? This is my version of what I think should have happened, I guess, the confrontation I wanted...  
  
There are more incidents from the books changed around and deleted.... So I hope you Emily book loyalists will forgive me for this...I am no LMM...pardon the angst stuff going around...  
  
None of the characters belong to me...also, passages marked with a star are taken from **Emily's Quest**_

-----

Aunt Elizabeth looked out the window to see the moon rise. It was a habit of her's, one that she not often shared with many people. No, Aunt Elizabeth was certainly not a romantic, never had been one. Her very existence relied on the firm basis of practicality. No, she only watched the moon rise because it indicated to her another day ended, another day closer to her eventual passing. Wistfully, she glanced around New Moon, her home since her birth and until her death. If only Emily had married Andrew...then she might have been assured that New Moon was in good hands, but fate often took turns no one expected. Aunt Elizabeth knew it could never happen. Still, she dreaded the day New Moon fell victim to "modernization," as Andrew often remarked. Could Emily even have stopped him from his relentless pursuit?  
  
Either way, New Moon would never be her ancestral home ever again.  
  
But would have Andrew and Emily been happy? Likely not, considering that Andrew had christened Emily as "temperamental" only recently and Emily had despised "his starched and ironed" looks beyond belief.  
  
"Aunt Elizabeth?" a soft voice penetrated the kitchen. Aunt Elizabeth whirled around to find the object of her thoughts standing near the door, her hair windblown and cheeks red. She looked just like Juliet, Aunt Elizabeth mused.  
  
"Yes, Emily?" Aunt Elizabeth's tone was unusually gentle.  
  
Emily was a bit taken aback. Ever since Emily's decision to marry Dean Priest, Aunt Elizabeth's tone rather dripped a bit with disapproval. She knew from experience, that even though her aunt might get used to the idea, it never meant that she approved of it. But Aunt Elizabeth preferred Priest to another alternative, Stovepipe Town.  
  
"I just wanted to know if..." Emily's voice trailed off.  
  
This was the first request of Emily's ever since her accident and her decision to give up writing.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I wanted to go to Montreal for a bit," Emily rushed. "For a week or two. I wanted to go try to pick up some things for Dean's and mine's house and perhaps for my trousseau. Please, Aunt Elizabeth, I'd really like to go,"  
  
Aunt Elizabeth was puzzled. "Why are you asking me for? You are a bit older Emily and soon-to-be a married woman. There is no need to ask for my permission. I doubt you need a companion if it is only for a week or two."  
  
"Yes, yes, of course," Emily replied.  
  
"Are you sure there's nothing wrong, Emily?" Aunt Elizabeth asked sharply.  
  
Emily came back to herself. "No Aunt," she said. "Nothing at all."  
  
It had been two weeks since the fateful encounter with the gazing ball. Emily felt haunted by it, so much so that she felt she needed to get away from everything and everyone. She could let no one suspect that her heart seemed to play traitor. "I was so sure last summer that Teddy no longer meant anything to me. But that night, that awful power or curse..." she thought to herself. The emerald caught the near lantern and glowed brilliantly. Emily jerked back from that memory and was brought back to reality. She was promised to Dean. She herself had encouraged those words of love to be brought forth from his being. He needed her, and she felt that only she could bring happiness from a man who had never been happy.  
  
But at the same time, she needed to get away. There was no doubt that she couldn't break her engagement to Dean. To create one more heartbreak was unthinkable, and Emily was not sure she could survive without her friendship to Dean. Inevitably, they would always be linked.  
  
Packing her clothes, she penned a short letter to Dean, who was now in Japan, drinking in the sights of the pale cherry blossoms in the cloudy midst, the crisp air and the lapses of the blue green ocean.  
  
After folding up the letter and placing it in the envelope. Emily picked up Daff and wandered outside near Lofty John's Bush, no...her bush. A proud moment in Emily's life when she bought it, using her earnings from her writing.  
  
But Emily shook her head. Writing was a dead moment in her past. Dean's comments had assured her that she would never reach the end of the Alpine Path and she ceased trying. But at moments, when an idea came to her head, she yearned for her pen, until the bitter disillusionment that Dean's opinion wrought weighed upon her heavily.  
  
No, let others appease the jealous goddess...she was done.  
  
Emily's gloominess lifted momentarily as she spotted Perry Miller coming up the lane. She waved at him and he smiled. Yes, Perry Miller had become a handsome man, a successful lawyer and he still had not given up on Emily, nurturing a secret desire that she might, still, one day, become his.  
  
Emily laughed at Perry's proposals and desires. She knew only that he liked her tremendously and that he mistook it for love. It was only that she was one of the first to believe in him, and his gratefulness for her friendship was often mixed up in his belief that that was love.  
  
"How are you, Perry?" Emily asked as she held out her hand.  
  
"Good, and you, Em?" Perry took it.  
  
Emily smiled. "I'm going to Montreal for a bit. To look for things to place in the Disappointed House and perhaps add to my trousseau,"  
  
"You mean, you and Dean still haven't stuffed the house alive?" Perry's eyebrow lifted.  
  
Emily laughed. "Not yet,"  
  
"Had half-a-mind to go up there myself," Perry commented. "I was meaning to talk to Mr. Brockwell about running for town council. He's the party leader of the Grits, you know. When are you leaving?"  
  
"Next Wednesday, 23rd of June," Emily told him. "I'll be staying there for two weeks, I think."  
  
"You know, Ilse had a letter from Ted just today. I met her at Johnson's store just an hour and two ago. He might be turning up in Canada anytime soon. He can only stay for three or four days though, but he's coming nonetheless. I'm sure he'll be sorry to miss you,"  
  
Emily smiled again, this time wanly. "I just need to get away for a bit that's all. I'm sure he won't even miss the fact that I'm not here. After all, you and Ilse will keep him company."  
  
"Speaking of him....remember when Aunt Tom surprised you at the gate and asked you to marry me? And then I shooed her out and said I'd ask you myself. And you were so mad..." Perry reminisced sentimentally.  
  
"I remember,"  
  
"And then you said, if both Ted and I asked you, you'd marry Ted! How mad that did make me for a while...but neither of us won out, did we? After all, it was always Dean who was in the background..." Perry sighed. "Not that I'm pining after you yet in particular--only nobody has flavor after you. I've tried. I'm doomed to die a bachelor. They tell me it's an easy death..."  
  
"Next thing, you'll be a staid old married man yourself, Perry," said Emily, ignoring the significance of the word we.  
  
Perry laughed. "Well, I'll miss you, that's for sure. Do let me know the day you come back, so we can make a picnic together. Or celebrate my impending marriage," he laughed again.  
  
"I'll miss you too," Emily said lightly. "Is there anything you want from Montreal, Perry? Anything I can get you?"  
  
He touched her cheek. "Some color from you, Emily, you've been pale and distraught for weeks...don't tell me you haven't been...haven't I known you for years?"  
  
Emily pushed his touch away. "Don't be silly, Perry, I'm just tired...from all the preparations for the wedding that's all. I'm not upset about anything,"  
  
Perry knew that it was wiser not to pursue the topic anymore. Perhaps the old Stovepipe Town Perry would have, but not now. If anything, Emily had one of his best friends, but she was also a Murray, who if pushed too far, might hold a grudge forever against him.  
  
"Well, goodbye, Emily. Take care," Briefly, he hugged her. Emily hugged back, wishing with all her heart that he wasn't right and that she could confide in him...but no, some things were best left a secret. 


	2. Remembering

So Teddy was coming home...Emily thought. But that thought brought her back to those memories...Teddy had been originally planning to sail on the Flavian, but after Emily's almost divine intervention, he had, in the process, been saved from drowning with the rest of the ship's passengers and crew.  
  
Emily had spent a night restless...the worst night of her life. She did not know whether she had saved Teddy or not from the great danger. But she knew then that he meant more to her than she had assumed, than her pride had let her assume.  
  
The next morning, she ran to the Tansy Path, asking Mrs. Kent bluntly about her son. Emily saw the hatred in Mrs. Kent's eyes, but alas, Mrs. Kent told her: Teddy did not sail.  
  
But then, Mrs. Kent caught her sleeve as Emily was turning to go and asked her wildly, why Emily cared.  
  
And Emily's answer was more of a revelation to herself than to Mrs. Kent: she loved him!  
  
And yet despite loving Teddy, she was going to marry Dean.  
  
Emily knew Mrs. Kent would never tell Teddy. Mrs. Kent's jealousy had ensured Emily that clause. But why had she acknowledged an unwanted love, especially to a woman who hated her? A Murray would never do that. But Emily reminded herself that she was just as much Starr as Murray.  
  
Perhaps it was the Starr side that forced her to make that confession...but it was over. She would avoid seeing Teddy...and perhaps, they both would forget...  
  
Teddy didn't even care. Had he not ceased to write her? Of course, he was in love with Ilse...beautiful Ilse who Emily could not compete or hold a candle to her friend's beauty. Emily still remembered that night when Teddy stayed so close to Ilse, and mentioned the word "love" to her. Yes, she had known then that there was no hope for them.  
  
Therefore, it was Emily who had to forget. He didn't even care, she said to herself again. There was no letter of congratulations from him when her engagement was announced, none after the incident as of yet...only a short letter of apology after her accident. She needed to let go...in those two weeks, she would stop thinking about him. And think about Dean and her future and the Disappointed House...not Teddy, never Teddy again.

-----

Emily alighted from the train and looked with pleasure at the bustling town that awaited her. She was glad that the 3 o'clock morning was over about Teddy. How silly she was pinning after a man who didn't care...wasn't she full of condescending pity over Ilse's want of Perry? After all, she was a Murray and a Starr. Certainly, her pride could swallow all of those feelings down. And she was a bride-to-be to top it off. Dean...there was a letter to be read...but she must do it after she arrived at her quarters.  
  
"Hey ye, Miss Emily Starr!" a old man's voice called out. Emily whirled around and noted with amusement that the man was almost half her height...a little man with ever-so-white hair and blue, blue eyes.  
  
He jumped off the wagon and squinted at her. "Ye be Miss Emily Starr?" he crackled.  
  
"Yes, I am,"  
  
"Err...I thought so, Mrs. Adel described ye as a young munchkin,"  
  
Emily was reminded of old Mr. Kelly but hoped that this man would not badger her about marrying or anything of that kind. She stopped an unholy grin from spreading across her face.  
  
"Me name's Mr. Sanders," He took her luggage and threw it in the back of the wagon. "I'm Mrs. Abel's hired man. Ye need anything Miss Emily Starr before we start the trip? It's a tiring one."  
  
"No thank you," Emily replied, settling herself next to Mr. Sanders.  
  
"All righty, here we go, then," Mr. Sanders smartly rapped the horse and it started off.  
  
"So ye're the authoress of _The Woman Who Spanked the King_?" he asked.  
  
"How did you know that?" Emily was surprised beyond herself. It had been some time ago since she had written the piece.  
  
"Me wife's read it. Laughs herself silly every time. She's been wild to meet ye. Wants to know if ye've written anything else..."  
  
"No, I've quite given up on that pursuit,"  
  
"Eh, that's too bad. Ye're a pretty decent writer. I know, I choked a couple of times, hearing the story. Imagine! The king being such a naughty lad! Shows that they're human too, eh?"  
  
"Indeed,"  
  
Emily changed the subject quickly. It was another reminder of what she had lost.  
  
----- 


	3. Encounter

Oh dear, oh dear, will Emily ever be able to forget Teddy? Grins

---

Emily sat down near the fireplace at Mrs. Adel's hotel and opened Dean's letter. She lay back in the rocking chair, basking in the warmth the fire provided. She missed New Moon dearly. At this very time, Cousin Jimmy would be bringing the cows home, Aunt Laura would be sewing torn gowns, and Aunt Elizabeth would be setting the table for dinner. Dean's letter consisted of more praises of beauties of Japan, his excitement at their upcoming wedding, and a paragraph relating a distant relation. _I met the Olivers a few years ago. Distant relations of Aunt Nancy of Priest Pond. They were rather nice, quite far removed from the Priestliness of Priests. They know of our engagement and were quite eager to meet you the last time I saw them before I ventured off to Japan. A favor, I ask of you, Star. Call on them if you can. You will find Mr. Oliver a very soft-spoken man and his wife a veritable chatter-box. But their marriage lasts. They're polar opposites...a bit like us, but of course, you and I, Star, have very similar souls..."_

----

Emily of course went directly to the Olivers' the next day, who were very friendly and just as Dean described. If they were surprised at her young age, they had the propriety to cover it up. Emily was further warmed when they invited her to a party later to be held that evening.

----

Dressed in the powdery blue gown she had worn only once before, Emily smiled at Mrs. Oliver's chatter, her eyes were drawn to a portrait on the wall of a beautiful young woman, blonde hair curling around her face. As she peered closer, she noted the purplish-black eyes staring back at her. Scrawled on the side was written "Frederick Kent." She stepped back.

"Like the painting Miss Starr?" Mrs. Oliver asked. "We have many more of Frederick Kent's collection. He's a very famous artist you know. His most recent painting, the Smiling Girl, is up for exhibition at Montreal's premier museum. In fact, he's supposed to be here this evening...always makes it a fact to attend our parties and such...my husband was one of his early buyers. Why, Miss Starr, you look as if you're going to faint! Gladys...Gladys...some water for Miss Starr,"

"No," Emily stood up dizzily from the chair. Fate had once again made her the fool. "No, I'll be fine," she repeated firmly.

"Nonsense," Mrs. Oliver pushed her down into the chair, and Emily, stunned, sank down. _Compose yourself _she told herself firmly. _He is just your old school chum...remember Dean...forget it_. But despair almost overwhelmed her. The very person she was trying to avoid was thrown into her path.

"Gladys! Some water! Oh Mr. Kent! Here you are! I was just talking about you to one of our guests...but she's not feeling so well, would you mind staying here while I fetch some water. Gladys doesn't seem anywhere to be found."

Don't look up, a wretched Emily cautioned herself. _Don't look up_.

She felt someone grasp her shoulder. "Miss? Don't worry. We'll try to get you better," and then a short silence..."Emily?"

She looked up to meet his stunned gaze. "Teddy," she said and smiled wanly. "How are you?"

"Emily! What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at New Moon? I'm not dreaming am I?" Teddy's flurry of words almost irritated Emily...why did he care? But it was only because Teddy was surprised beyond belief. Here was Emily, where he least expected, and as a result, he was struggling. Cool, calm Frederick Kent had transformed back into Teddy within moments.

"I'm here in Montreal for a few days to shop for some things," Emily's voice retained dignity and was cool. How grateful she was for that steel reserve inherited from the Murrays. It was keeping her from doing anything she feared. Teddy drew back as if he had been slapped. He looked down at her left hand and noted the emerald still sparkling. He withdrew his touch.

Teddy was cool, calm Frederick Kent once more. But Mrs. Oliver who had returned from the kitchen, holding the glass of water, had witnessed Teddy's outburst and the subsequent exchange.

"Miss Starr," she exclaimed. "You sly creature! You didn't tell me you knew Mr. Kent," Miss Starr herself felt a bit hysterical about the word _sly_. How so did Mrs. Oliver sound like Aunt Ruth!

"Mr. Kent and I went to school together," Emily said, striving to remain calm and emotionless under the circumstances. "I beg pardon for not telling you earlier, Mrs. Oliver,"

"Oh well then," Mrs. Oliver continued. "I don't suppose you've heard Mr. Kent that our Miss Starr is engaged to one of my husband's friends, Mr. Dean Priest?"

The color rose in Teddy's face. "Yes, I know," he acknowledged curtly. "I have had the privilege of knowing Mr. Priest as well,"

Mrs. Oliver ventured into further dangerous territory. "No doubt you'll be coming then. I've been hearing it's the thing this season at Blair Water," she smiled at them both. " Why don't you take Miss Starr into dinner, Mr. Kent? I know you both will want time to catch up, of course. Well, I'll take your leave then," and the good woman bustled off, avid on chatting with more guests.

Teddy extended his hand to Emily who took it reluctantly. But as soon as his hand closed around her's, she felt a glow inside, but ignored it resolutely.

"You look well," he said.

"So do you," Emily said honestly. He did, dressed impeccably in a dark suit and tie. His hair was a bit brushed back and his eyes...retained the coolness she set forth. The warmth in his eyes was gone.

-----

They said nothing else to each other until Mrs. Oliver called everyone in for the meal. Whispers of admiration followed Teddy and Emily as they went in.

The worst part happened when a fellow bystander, who had heard about Emily's engagement but did not know who Teddy nor Dean were, congratulated Teddy on his upcoming marriage to Emily. "Mr. Priest, you are a very lucky man. You and your fiancée make a fine couple," Emily blushed, horrified. Teddy merely nodded, not even contradicting the man on his misinformation.

They exchanged vague pleasantries. He made no reference to the Flavian incident or her upcoming marriage. He asked about her family, how she was healing after the accident, Daff, Ilse, and Perry. Nothing about Dean. She asked him about his paintings, where he had been and when he was coming back to Blair Water.

"I'll be back to the Tansy Patch in a week or so," he answered easily. "I have some work to finish up here, and I have to unveil my portrait at the Exhibition. I don't know what day that will be though,"

"I'll look forward to seeing it," Emily commented.

Teddy threw a sharp glance at her, almost fearful, Emily surmised. She did not understand why.

"Indeed," he said quietly

------


	4. Emotions

"Miss Starr, the car I had for you has broken down," Mrs. Oliver called out to Emily as Emily wrapped her coat around herself and shivered. "I don't know what we shall do--oh, Mr. Kent--you will? Miss Starr! Mr. Kent said he'd be glad to take you--be careful though, it does look as if a storm is brewing,"

Emily was instantly reminded of the storm in Shrewsbury all those years ago, a storm that had forced her, Ilse, Teddy and Perry to seek shelter in the Old John house. There, Emily remembered Teddy's glance. But then, the event almost cost Emily her reputation and months of agony until Aunt Ruth stood by her and cleared up the mess. Emily would be forever grateful to her aunt for this. Although she often did not agree with Aunt Ruth, there was something to be said for family loyalty. However, that loyalty seemed stressed as Aunt Ruth recently kicked up a ruckus when she heard of Emily and Dean's engagement, calling Dean an infidel.

Teddy led Emily out to his car.

"Thank you," she told him as he got into his side.

"Anything for an old schoolmate," Teddy's voice showed bitterness.

Emily said nothing further. She was furious at _him_; she only told Mrs. Oliver that because from his side, it was true! He did not write her, he never contacted her after the Flavian incident, and he didn't even mention the life-changing decision that was affecting her life. He had disappointed her so many times the summer before last. When she had waited for him near Lofty John's Bush, hadn't he had the gall to go to Ilse instead? So many times, he had broken his promises!

As they neared a bridge, Emily's anger finally hit a juncture. "Let me out," she said with gritted teeth.

Teddy answered in kind, "Don't be ridiculous, Miss Starr, it's snowing hard outside,"

Emily pushed open the door and stalked out. Teddy pulled the car over, and slammed the door, following her.

"Emily, I'm sorry---"

"You're sorry?" Emily whirled around and confronted him. " When you came back the first time after we made that pledge about Vega of the Lyre, you made me think you'd forgotten everything...it was such a soulless, chilly, polite goodbye! You ceased to write me yet you kept on writing to Ilse and Perry! You didn't even care to write even after you found out about Dean and me! A friend would have at least written! You treated me as if our childhood friendship never existed! You didn't even ask me now about Dean and me!"

But Teddy's anger sparked as well. "I'd forgotten? How could I have forgotten! It was you who did! You don't remember Aylmer Vincent? I thought it was no use to write you, especially after you told me about how night air was bad for you and such. And that winter you were ill--I was nearly wild," the confession swept the air. "... away there in France where I couldn't see you. And how Dean was always with you, and I knew he was possessive, Emily, he always wanted you...and then I heard about your engagement---do you know how much it hurt, Emily? That I couldn't hear it from you? But from other people?"

"From me? You were in France, how could I have told you? And I didn't think you'd be interested, Teddy, since you didn't even write...or answer some of my letters,"

"I admit," Teddy said. "I was wrong."

"There now," Emily said stupidly.

"But you are wrong too, Emily," Teddy reached out and grabbed her hand. "I've looked for months for a story of yours ever since that last winter. All the magazines you publish in. Why, I even wrote a letter to the publisher, asking why he didn't publish them...and it turns out you haven't written anything! I remember, you would spent nights and nights burning your candle to write poems and journal entries in those Jimmy-books of yours'"

"But I---"

"Maybe you didn't see it but I did...Dean has always hated your writing, your friends, your family because he thought they would take you away from him! Especially me, who he thought was a rival. Ilse told me that you burned that book of yours'...you never told her why. But I know you well enough to know that after Mr. Carpenter, Dean's opinion of your writing meant more to you than anything else in the world. And when he ruined your dreams, you let him! But don't you care anything about Mr. Carpenter perhaps? Don't you think he'd be disappointed...let him down that after years of showing him your writings, you'd given up! You have talent, Emily, you always have!"

"Perhaps," Emily replied frostily. "the artistic soul of yours' is getting a little too carried away,"

"You know, it's the truth, Emily," Teddy's eyes gazed into her's, and she saw the friend and sweetheart she had once lost. "If it's not, prove to me, you can still write--"

"Teddy...you know I can't, not anymore, it died a long time ago,"

"No, it's there. Just as Dean accused me so long ago one day, that I can't help putting something of you in my pictures, you can't help writing,"

"He told you that?" Emily's voice was a whisper. Long ago, Dean told her what Teddy was doing and had added in a sneer 'Tell him to keep his paint and brush off _my _property.' She was upset back then, but to think of Teddy's reaction...

"Yes. I know, you love him, so I shouldn't have said anything," Teddy's hands were shoved in his pockets and he stared moodily at the sky. Emily followed his gaze. Vega of the Lyre shown still brightly despite the snowflakes billowing to the ground.

"Let's," Emily said dazedly, trying to digest what he had told her. "Let's get back in the car,"

Teddy nodded, and with one last glance at Vega of the Lyre, got into the car and drove her back...


	5. Expedition

_DISCLAIMER: None of these characters belong to me, with the exception of Mrs. Oliver. Also, some passages are from Emily's Quest, marked with a star. As one wise person said: "you cannot improve upon genius." Thank you as well to all the people who reviewed! You rock!_

Emily was in turmoil as she headed up the stairs to her room. Heedlessly, she ran into a stranger and apologized profusely. It was as Teddy's words infused life into her very being that had been in the grave for so long. It seemed as if she came back to life...all because of a man who, she wasn't sure, exactly meant to her.

Was Teddy right? Had Dean lied to her about her writing? Did she even love Dean? No, she knew, she didn't and she never would. She had only promised Dean her friendship and affection. But nothing more than that. But she recalled the passion in his voice: "Now I have you--hold you--wear you on my heart--some day you will give me more than affection,"

And how lightly she dismissed Ilse's fears! "I saw then--how little it really mattered--how many more important things were" she had said then.

But writing had been a part of her life for as long as she could remember. It got her through her father's death, the struggle with Aunt Elizabeth, her Shrewsbury years and given her a reason to live: pure ambition.

And she had destroyed it all when Dean told her in essence she had no talent..why did she not have a better belief in herself? Regret inched its way to her and she felt hollow. What had she done? What would she do about Dean and Teddy? What would the next day bring?

-

"Miss Starr?" A knock on the door brought Emily to full consciousness. The previous night seemed a lifetime ago. "Someone's here to see you,"  
  
"I'll be right down," she called back. "In about a quarter of an hour, is that fine?"  
  
She felt a patter of steps rush down the stairs. It had been a long sleepless night for her. One of her three o'clocks in the morning; despair threatened to overcome her. Fears resurfaced that she struggled to keep supressed.  
  
_"In some ways, honey, Dean is just the man for you. He's clever and fascinating and not so horribly conscious of his importance. But you'll belong to him body and soul. Dean can't bear anyone to have any interest outside of him. He must possess exclusively..."  
_  
Emily swiftly reassured Ilse then. But was Ilse right? Ilse and now Teddy. But who was she to Teddy anyway? He had spurned her friendship for so long; and had also spurned her love. And now he refused to let her move on.  
  
"He says that'll be fine, Miss Starr," the young boy's voice pierced through the door. At the mention of the word he, Emily had a faint suspicion of who it could be.  
  
Quickly, she brushed her hair and tied it back in a braid, washed her face, and put on a morning gown. She was ushered down the stairs by an errand boy, until she came face-to-face with an uncomfortable-looking Teddy Kent.  
  
"Emily," he came to her.  
  
"Teddy,"  
  
"Emily, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so blunt," he shrugged self- consciously. "It's a failing perhaps...or Perry working on me,"  
  
That beautiful smile came over her face, the one Teddy loved. It was a slow smile, but it made her look so different, like the Emily he once knew.  
  
"It's all right," she acknowledged, and he felt a surge of relief. They always said that when a Murray held a grudge, he/she held it forever.  
  
He wouldn't bring it up again, Teddy promised himself.  
  
"I wanted to take you out," he said. "I know from Mrs. Oliver you wanted to purchase something. It'd be faster and easier if we take my car,"  
  
"But Mrs. Oliver promised she send her car for me..." Emily's voice trailed off.  
  
"I've handled all that," Teddy continued cheerfully. "She's a very busy woman, you know. She doesn't have much time and asked me to escort you around town. After all, I've lived here for quite a bit, you know. It'd be like the old times,"  
  
"The old times," Emily echoed and resolved in a moment to be the chum she had always been. 

-

It was it they were Teddy of Tansy Path and Emily of New Moon again. Teddy seemed as determined as she to pretend that nothing had happened. They went to the bazaar and bought a tea set, several delightful jugs for the pantry, a crystal goblet to replace Aunt Elizabeth's old one from the incident with Mr. Mark Greaves (how Teddy had laughed!), and paid a visit to the seamstress. Teddy was greeted by several people on the streets, and Emily became aware how famed and popular her old playmate had become.  
  
Emily did not miss the glances of several matrons and coquettes at her ring and at Teddy who seemed stationed always at her side. Several made sly comments about weddings and such but Teddy did not take a hint. He was noticeably cooler to them, and Emily remembered Ilse's one-time description of Teddy: "It was sickening in Montreal...I've seen him accepting tribute - graciously bestowing a smile- a look- a touch as a reward. Saying to everyone what he thought she'd like to hear." A few asked for an introduction and Teddy made it simple: "Emily Starr, from Blair Water."  
  
Perhaps Ilse was wrong. But Emily found it little use to dawdle over it any longer.  
  
As they were browsing through a convenience store that held several items of furniture. As much as Emily loved Dean's "sofa covered with striped silk, Shiraz rugs and jades and ivories from China," she felt it necessary to purchase a dinner table (the mahogany one that Dean had seemed to tremble with age).  
  
Teddy found one made from cherry wood and decorated with a creamy tablecloth and lace centerpiece.  
  
"Oh! That's wonderful!" Emily exclaimed and circled around it in excitement and Teddy's artistic soul responded to her light, graceful motions and almost childish delight. He smiled at her and asked: "But will you have enough room for your house, Emily...after you put everything else in?"  
  
"Of course, Teddy," Emily replied, examining the table for bumps and scratches. "Fred Clifford's house is large enough,"  
  
"Fred Clifford's house?" Teddy said slowly. "The Disappointed House?"  
  
"Yes, Dean bought it recently," Emily said carelessly, not noticing Teddy's reaction. He stuffed his hands moodily in his pockets and the smile faded.  
  
Suddenly, Emily gasped to herself. What had she done?  
  
Once upon a time, Emily and Teddy had broken into the Disappointed House, pledging a troth that they would live together there. She would write and he would paint pictures and of course, they planned silly things that they would do: for instance, have toast and marmalade every morning. She remembered Teddy surmising that they would have to marry and she saying that no, it would probably be too much of an inconvenience. Teddy had whispered to Emily afterwards for weeks on end "toast and marmalade." Ilse and Perry had been wild to find out what they had meant but in vain. The only two that ever knew about the adventure were Teddy and Emily themselves.  
  
"So he bought it?" Teddy tried to retain composure. "You always loved that house Emily. Do you remember how we used to fear that it has ghosts?" He wondered idly if she also remembered that day long ago. But it seemed as if that long-ago childish dream taunted him: Emily would have all that she ever wanted, but not with him.  
  
"Yes," Emily averted her eyes. " I remember. Actually, Dean never knew I liked the house that much, but it all turned out right in the end,"  
  
"That's good to know," Teddy commented. "You must have that shipped," he said. "It would be impossible to take it back with you."  
  
"Yes, yes, of course," Emily whirled around. "Let me see if that clerk is busy...I'll have Cousin Jimmy put it in the house when it arrives. Thank you, Teddy. It's wonderful,"  
  
"You're welcome," Teddy replied as he watched her walk towards the clerk. He noted that she could not look into his eyes. 


	6. Surmising

_Please review! I want to know whether I should continue..._

-  
  
Teddy became Emily's escort to all the social events of the summer. Clam bakes and dances and jamborees were nightly occurrences for Emily and the other boarders became quite used to seeing the sleek car and the man who owned it jump out of the car.  
  
"Do you remember the night of Mrs. Childlaw's dinner dance?" Teddy remarked sentimentally one night.  
  
How could Emily have forgotten that horrid night!  
  
"She was sending her car for you, and I had asked you to go with me. But a car wasn't comparable to the one-hoss buggy I didn't even buy but borrowed. I always felt bad over that,"  
  
"Why Teddy? That's ridiculous,"  
  
"I always thought to myself that one day, it wouldn't be like that, that I would take you in a real car..."  
  
"As long as you were there," Emily tried to be light-hearted but the earnestness came forth. "It wouldn't have mattered."  
  
Teddy turned so he could meet the brilliance of her eyes. They stared at each other for a moment until Emily turned away. He sighed. And came up with an idea of a portrait of a woman with eyes like Emily's.  
  
-  
  
"So sorry that I couldn't help you out, Emily, lately, " Mrs. Oliver gushed as she poured the tea. "But I trust your shopping expeditions and parties have gone well, and these last few days, you'll be sure to enjoy. I've been sort of peaked in this kind of weather,"  
  
Emily winced as Mrs. Oliver accidentally stepped on her foot. "Indeed," she said.  
  
"Now Emily, Mrs. Thompson asked if you would like to attend the dance she's holding in honor of her son's engagement. She knows that you, my dear, are under my wing and she would be very pleased to have you there."  
  
"Thank her for the offer," Emily took a sip of her tea. "But I'm not certain I should. After all, I only have a few days left."  
  
"Mrs. Thompson is very particular that Mr. Kent come, Emily. It will be the coup on her list, " Mrs. Thompson threw a swift glance at Emily who colored.  
  
"I'm not sure what that has to do with me," Emily replied stiffly.  
  
"Come, my dear," Mrs. Oliver dragged the couch nearer to Emily and lowered her voice. "You cannot pretend that Mr. Kent hasn't been frankly 'dancing his attendance on you.' It's been a daily gossip item. I've been asked several times if you two are engaged. It's also been near impossible to find him these days. He frankly refuses to come unless you are there. I'm not sure what our Dean will think of this when he hears,"  
  
Emily stood up, her teeth clenched. "Dean knows what Mr. Kent is to me, Mrs. Oliver: an old schoolmate. And perhaps, Mr. Kent only does that because he misses home, and I'm the closest to his childhood memories. He is free to do as he wishes. I cannot claim to control him," Emily's iciness penetrated the walls.  
  
"I'm not suggesting impropriety from your side Miss Starr," Mrs. Oliver stood up as well. "I like you Emily. But I also like Mr. Kent. Whether you do or not willingly, you are going to break his heart. Haven't you noticed he turns pale whenever we're together and you mention your going? If we're at tea or dinner, the same thing happens and he won't eat anymore. He doesn't seem to understand that you're engaged,"  
  
"Mrs. Oliver," Emily picked up her hat and walked near the door. "I think perhaps you're over-fancying certain things. I bid you good day ma'am. I have a lot to do,"  
  
Mrs. Oliver gaped as Emily slammed the door. Mrs. Oliver was a good-hearted woman, despite her frankness and propensity to gossip. The woman only did not possess the wisdom that comes to women at a particular time.  
  
-  
  
Emily rang up Teddy to tell him she could not come to the restaurant he had suggested they go with premier French food. Teddy had been regaling her with tales of France and his cuisine, as well as the time he painted the Eiffel Tower.  
  
"Emily, you should have seen it! It was statuesque, over 40 feet tall. You had to crane your neck just to see it. This gentleman saw my paints and brush in hand and offered me a seat with the greatest view. I spent hours and hours in front of it. I was lucky enough to be there as the sun set. I'd like to go back there again, if I'm ever awarded an art scholarship."  
  
She lay down on the bed, penning her daily letter to her aunts and Cousin Jimmy, as well as scribbling a short epistle to Ilse when she heard the door knock.  
  
"Come in," she called out, thinking it was little boy that often helped out his mother and father at the inn.  
  
Teddy Kent strode through the door. She sat up, "Teddy!" she exclaimed.  
  
"You weren't feeling well, so I thought I'd bring you a couple of things." Gingerly, he placed flowers (daisies with mums and pansies) on her desk and she noticed in his hand was a bottle of medicine.  
  
"You didn't have to, " Emily scrambled onto her feet. She recalled Mrs. Oliver's words with a sense of dread. "Mr. Kent is dancing his attendance on you...you are going to break his heart. "  
  
He stood there and surveyed the sheets of paper surrounded her. "Or it was a poor excuse of getting rid of me," he joked. "Are you writing again?"  
  
"No, just letters," she said, knowing full well what he meant.  
  
"You can do it again, Emily," Teddy said softly. "I know you can,"  
  
She smiled tremulously up at him and he bid her farewell and closed the door.  
  
Reaching for a piece of paper, she wrote "And there he was...."  
  
-  
  
But Emily had thrown down the pen in frustration a few hours later. She wasn't pleased with her work. It lacked the soul, the spirit she once had in abundance. Would it have gone differently if she had decided to go with Miss Royal? Could she have been the author of over half-a-dozen books by now? Where was the ambition buried?  
  
And what had Mr. Carpenter said to her before he died? "Promise me you will never write to please anybody but yourself,"  
  
Perhaps there was the problem. She had stopped writing because Dean had said there was no hope. And now Teddy said there was.  
  
But the yearnings were stirred to life. One day, she would be ready.  
  
-


	7. Mrs Kent

_I am soooo sorry this took so long to put up...there's going to be one or two chapters left hopefully (maybe three) and I promise those will come up quicker. Thank you so much for those kind reviews! Thanks for telling me your fave parts...yes, there will be more angst as time goes on...lol!_  
  
The night was dark and stormy.  
  
Emily buried herself in her black cloak and walked carefully along the streets. Carrying a copy of _The North Shore Farm_, she was paying a trip to Teddy Kent's residence. Emily had expressed a wish one day to read the book, and Teddy had obligingly dug it out for her from his mother's treasure chest that she had gifted him before he went to live in Montreal.  
  
The clouds gathered closer and closer together on the horizon and the sky turned a pale, pearly shade of grey. Rain drops began falling from the sky (as if they were tears from the earth) and Emily felt them on her skin and face.  
  
She finally arrived at Teddy's home. Emily had admitted previously and yet again that she admired her childhood friend's tastes. While it was no Disappointed House, it was a delightful house with bottle green shutters and a welcome mat, as well as brass knockers. It was just the house Emily had dreamed about once upon a time.  
  
When Emily motioned to knock on the door, it swung open and revealed was a small, short woman with a white scar on her face and blazing eyes. Emily almost instantly shrunk back at the vision. Mrs. Kent stood at the door.  
  
Mrs. Kent stayed at the door, watching over the woman who she knew to be her rival. Aileen Kent looked pointedly at Emily's finger and noted the existence of the emerald ring. She glanced back at Emily.  
  
Emily was the first to recover from this confrontation. She did not fear Mrs. Kent, not even that night at Blair Water a long, long time ago when Teddy had saved her from old mad Mr. Morrison.  
  
"Good evening Mrs. Kent. Is Teddy home?" Emily inquired politely.  
  
Mrs. Kent stared at her wildly. "You've come after him, haven't you again? Do you not have any shame, girl? And he can't resist you..."  
  
"Mrs. Kent," Emily interrupted, direly hoping that she could be anywhere, anywhere but here. "Either you tell me or I'll go."  
  
Mrs. Kent hated Emily more at this moment than ever. But she conceded defeat. "No, he is not. He went out for some time."  
  
"I'll leave then, " realizing that she still held the book in her hands, she decided in that quick instant to give it to Mrs. Kent. "Here is the book that I borrowed, Mrs. Kent. Please make sure that Teddy gets it."  
  
"Thank you," said the other woman coldly. As she glanced at the title, Mrs. Kent's scar whitened with deep emotion as  
  
Before Emily turned to leave, she remarked. "Do you know there was a letter in this book, Mrs. Kent?"  
  
Mrs. Kent looked at her sharply.  
  
"A letter. Addressed to you. Good night," and with that, Emily unceremoniously fled.

----

Emily sat by her window, starring into space. The confrontation with Mrs. Kent had brought a weariness to her. Would Aileen Kent always hate her? Was there never any possibility that they could be in peace? Even if (when, she corrected herself abruptly) she married Dean, would Mrs. Kent refuse to let go?  
  
She stood up. No longer could she take it. She needed to get out anywhere, just walk and walk and walk to search for an escape. In a sudden move, she took off the emerald ring and threw it on the dresser and placed a cloak around her shoulders.  
  
Walking out she breathed a sigh of relief. Yes, one could be free here.  
  
"Emily, Emily Starr," Emily was walking out on the dusty path one evening suring star-light time when she was confronted by a woman. Emily stared at her confused, only to surmise that she knew the woman from somewhere.  
  
As Emily approached closer, she was surprised beyond belief that it was Mrs. Kent.  
  
"Emily," said Mrs. Kent.  
  
Emily looked at her in wonder. Mrs. Kent had changed. The angry look had faded from her eyes. It seemed as if Aileen Kent was at peace and the madness was gone.  
  
Mrs. Kent caught her arm. "It's you who has done this...I have lived in hell. And noe you have helped me come out of it,"  
  
Emily shook her head, not understanding. "I don't understand."  
  
"The letter," Mrs. Kent said. "The letter..." See Emily's Quest for the letter's contents....  
  
"I hated you," Mrs. Kent's voice was far away. "But now I understand what love is. It beckons to you even after you have rejected it. It is the voice of the dead that comes back to spare you from further grief,"  
  
She asked abruptly, "You said you loved my son, Emily. Do you still love him?"  
  
Emily was reeling back from Mrs. Kent's story. So much so that she did not understand Aileen Kent's question.  
  
"I beg your pardon?"  
  
"Do you still love Teddy?"  
  
Emily wanted to say no, she had forgotten. But those old stirrings could not prevent her from admitting this:  
  
"I care for him, but I can't love him, Mrs. Kent. Dean is in my heart now."  
  
Mrs. Kent gazed at her, almost knowingly. "Do you think Teddy loves you?"  
  
"No," Emily said. "He does not,"  
  
"I think you know he does, Emily," Mrs. Kent spoke, no hatred in her voice. "It is my fault it is too late...I wrote to him of your flirtations...if I could only tell him what you felt,"  
  
"No," Emily said sharply. "It would do no good and cause much evil. He never has loved me, Mrs. Kent. He treats me with especial regard because I am his friend. He would do the same for anyone."  
  
"You're not a fool, Emily Starr," Mrs. Kent's eyes bore into her own. "So tell me, why do you feel you must marry Dean Priest?"  
  
Emily stood up, wishing that she could not be confronted by what she felt. It was fate that seemed to force Mrs. Oliver and Mrs. Kent to confront her with what Teddy and she felt for each other. It almost wasn't fair.  
  
"I cannot break a heart, Mrs. Kent. Look what has happened to you, thinking that you had. I could not live with the same guilt," and with that Emily turned and disappeared into the forest, with Teddy's mother looking at her figure walking further and further away.  
  
_If anyone has any ideas as to how to continue, please send a review or e- mail me. I've some ideas, but I'm not sure they'll work. Please let me know!_


	8. Revealed

_It's up!! I'm sort of unsatisfied, but yeah, that's me. Thanks for the reviews! Please keep them coming! Oi..hoi...it's all coming to a...well, you'll see. _

Teddy stood in front of the covered painting of _The Smiling Girl_. It would be the next day the painting would be unveiled. And when the question he was pining to ask would be answered. Teddy felt deceitful at that moment, but brushed it aside. She wasn't taken, not yet. How would she react? Could he lose her friendship forever?

No, he thought to himself. Someone you loved could never be lost. After all, hadn't fate thrown them together again? She was his. Would always be. And even if she left him or refused, she would always bring the color on the easel as his inspiration.

But...

She had made him so happy in the past two or three weeks. She had somehow magically wrought out a change in his mother who had become gentler and sweeter and whose possessiveness had faded. Somehow, the link Teddy shared with her assured him that she had done this. She also allowed his dream to come to fruition by forcing his mother to allow him to attend Shrewsbury High School .

What if he did lose her? Could he bear it?

At least, he reasoned. His feelings would no longer be hidden. At least she would know that he had always loved her.

---

Emily quietly entered the museum, wearing a chiffon gauzed dress and fingering her mother's old pearl necklace that Aunt Elizabeth gifted her when she turned 21. Teddy had invited her to the opening exhibition of _The Smiling Girl_. As reluctant as she was to accept the invitation, she had said yes. When his happiness brimmed over in his eyes, she thought that it was worth it. Well, she would be the only one at the opening. Ilse had decided to pay a long overdue trip to P.E.I. and Perry was preparing for a major court case.

The beauty of the museum intrigued her. Paintings galore splashed colors on the off-cream walls. Sculptures crowded the main floor with shining placards describing their histories and travel from ancient lands and long-ago kings. Eager crowds of people followed tour guides and peppered them with questions. Emily stopped to see a painting. The man and his wife looked dreamy as if they were setting off into an adventure where no one else dare follow. Possibilities swirled around in her mind...dreams they could have had. But Emily came back to earth, as the sting of her unborn _Seller of Dreams_ pinched her. That and Dean's heartbreaking pronouncement.

Dean. Emily reminded herself, in a puzzling manner. The engagement seemed to be forgotten for a few moments.

She had just written a letter to Dean, in an off-hand way, toiling over sheets of paper and crumbling them when it struck her fancy. He would not be pleased, as the letter contained none of the gentle sparring and pleasant camaderie Dean usually enjoyed and complimented Emily on. In fact, Emily was confused tonight, as any young woman might be, caught between two lives. The old one with Teddy, Ilse, Perry, her writing and New Moon and the other she wanted to forge with Dean and the Disappointed House. Thus, her distractions let to unsatisfactory letter after letter, in which Dean frowned upon back on the green hills of Japan. This would be another one added to his list. Her letters seemed to speak of melancholy and of sadness, but Dean indomitably refused to see that. She was merely tired, he reasoned, and thus what she wrote reflected this. After all, she was recovering from an illness that had plagued her for many months.

"Emily!" Teddy swooped upon her. Suddenly, Emily smiled to see the warmth on his face. She missed him, ever so much during their estrangement. It was so good to be with him, to see him, to talk to him...to laugh with him.

"Emily," Teddy bubbled over with excitement. "You'd never guess. Apparently, a record-breaking crowd came for my painting! My painting!"

"And why wouldn't they?" Emily assured him.

"But if I disappointed them...and you..." Teddy's voice faded, as he seemed to draw back from her.

"Don't worry," Emily touched him in a friendly fashion. "You never could disappoint me,"

When she moved to draw back her hand, he placed his over her's. They shared a look.

"Mr. Kent!" One of the workers at the museum forced them both out of their shared reverie. "They all be waiting for ye, sir."

Teddy nodded curtly and whispered to Emily, "come with me," He took her hand and placed it on his arm and together they walked to the covered painting where Teddy would tug the tassel and reveal it.

"Where should we put this?" came a question from another worker, and Emily watched as Teddy directed and instructed. She marveled at how professionally he viewed his work. Even she could not maintain that poise and professionalism when it came to her writing. Impatience seemed to suit her and her somewhat moody nature, whereas in Teddy, waiting was fine for him.

How different they were in personality somewhat, Emily mused, but they were both dreamers, seekers in search of rainbow gold and Alpine Paths (at least she used to), so that was what brought them together.

When it started, Emily was not paying close enough attention. She listened to the introductions and the purpose of the exhibition half-heartedly. She heard Teddy speaking about inspiration and such, but again, she was caught up thinking so much about what the future held and about what Teddy had said about her writing, that she barely restrained her impatience, wanting to leave before. After all, how different could this painting be from the others?

But Emily regretted immediately that bit of selfishness. She should be happy for Teddy, that's what she was here for, not worrying about herself.

Emily glanced at Teddy who to her surprise was watching her with a half-nervous look. As he was handed the tassel to pull, he cast another glance at her and pulled. The white sheet fell, and the audience burst into applause.

When Teddy looked for Emily, he was frantic to see that she had disappeared. Quickly excusing himself and fighting through the spectators who milled around _The Smiling Girl_, he looked for her wildly.

But she was gone

----

Emily was running heedlessly, no idea where she was going, hurting herself as she ran into an elderly woman. She needed to go, go away from Montreal, and Blair Water and New Moon and Ilse and Dean and Perry and Mrs. Oliver and Mrs. Kent and...Teddy. She couldn't be anywhere near him

Oh! How could she have been so blind, so unseeing? How could she have denied and wiped her feelings under the carpet? And his as well?

The explanations for everything had fallen into place. How she longed before for him to love her, and now that he did, she couldn't reciprocate.

But he did...she now realized. For how long, she did not know, but for some time,

otherwise how could he have depicted _The Smiling Girl_ in such a way. For _The Smiling Girl _was her, to the core, to her very being. He had even captured the flash. And in a panic, she had fled.

"Emily!" His voice called out, and she almost turned. But no, she couldn't face him, least of all. What had she done?

"Emily," he caught up to her finally, and almost forcibly turned her to him. No longer did she blindly see the playmate as she fooled herself before, but the passionate, handsome young man he had become.

"How could you?" She trembled. "When---"

"Don't tell me you can't love me, Emily, you can, you must," He pulled her to him and she felt safe and secure but then pulled away.

"I can't," she whispered. "I'm engaged."

"You know I love you, Emily," Teddy said. "Ever since we were young. I wanted to ask you to wait for me on the Tomorrow Road but you said the night air was bad for you and that set me back for years. And when I heard about Dean, I couldn't almost take it. I thought I lost you. I was moving on with my life until you came back in all of a sudden, and that's when I realized, Emily, that when...fate gives you a second chance," his voice rose for a moment. "You take it. And you need to know. I've tried so many times; I've tried to forget you...but nothing ever works. But I can't let you leave without knowing now."

At that moment, Emily's flash struck in front of her, and she knew her love wasn't dead for Teddy. She had been so sure that Teddy no longer meant anything to her, but the _Flavian_...this.

The dreams rushed back and she saw herself with him....together...with a child...in the Disappointed House...she shrank back from the powerful image.

"You've never said you loved Dean, Emily," Teddy continued. "Give me one chance...forgive me...let me be with you as it should be. We were meant for each other, Em! You can't deny it," And in a sudden move, he kissed her.

Emily threw caution into the wind and responded. How she had longed for this moment!

But no...she was betraying the man she promised to marry! And what if that happened to her? She would not be like that!

"No, Teddy, I can't," she said, pushing him away. "I don't love you. I never did. Forget me if you can. Move on like you did before. I can't let you do that. And I can't let Dean down..."

"But Emily..."

"No," she said, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Forgive me,"

The rain began to pour in earnest, as it was an already cloudy day.

And Emily left the man she loved and who loved her, but never could marry in the rain.

----

_I'll make Teddy and Emily both jump off the roof if you don't review (LOL!)_


	9. Belief

_Something I think was why EQ went the way it did...and to switch scenes, I had to label BREAK...only thing I could do :( Sorry if it ruins it..._

Emily ran far away , running in the rain, until she reached her residence. Brushing aside the innkeeper's worries that she would die from the cold, she rushed to her room and feverishly began throwing clothes left and right from the drawers until they all lay in a heap upon her bed. Wanting to cry, she suddenly collapsed on the bed and buried her face. Why had she come here? Why did she make things more complicated?

An overwhelming urge came to Emily to write, write anything! She needed to let it all out. From the fateful moment to the Flavian to Teddy's final words of love, a story needed to be told. It has been the way she solved all her problems, beginning with penning letters to her father.

She drew out sheets of paper and began to write, really write. She would prove them all wrong in the end. No one seemed to regard her feelings. Not Teddy. Not Dean. Not Ilse. No one! And no, she was not hopelessly Victorian!

_I love Teddy_, she scribbled shamelessly. _That is all to it. The naked truth laid out for me to examine, to thrash over! I cannot bear to think what I have done. He loves me! And I was so blind to see it. Did I want to see it? Was the love so powerful that I couldn't face it, that I had to content myself with a man who I didn't love and who I know, really doesn't love me for **me**. Only parts and portions he cannot feel envy of. Oh! 3 o' clock, you have come too late. _

_But why did he hold back for so long? Where were the signs? No, I knew the signs. What they told me. But I know he will move on...and I must forget..._

_Why did I say yes to Dean when I didn't love him? I wanted to keep him happy but I wanted to keep myself safe...yes, safe! Look what my mother's leaving did to destroy the family...they never accepted it and they never accepted my father. And it broke her heart, I know it did, just like it broke Aunt Elizabeth's heart, Grandfather Murray's heart and my father's heart...never to be accepted as a part of his wife's family._

_Can I manage to have my heart broken like that? No...and if Teddy broke mine like that, would I be like his mother once upon a time? Would I be like Grandfather Murray who could not bear to see my mother's portrait after she ran away...._

_But what is done is done. I cannot undo it, and I must leave...but it helps to bring it all out...finally! _

_To admit what I have yearned to...now I can face the future with a calm endeavor._

Crumbling up the sheet in despair, she threw it across the window and laid back on her bed. She knew what she must do.

(BREAK)

She left the next morning; still raining; dragging several pieces of luggage with her, alighting the platform. She was completely dressed in black, momentously dressed for the occasion for she was mourning, although Emily would never had admitted in any hour but 3 o'clock, what she was leaving behind.

Getting on the train, she bid farewell to Montreal. It sent her a sad message in reply...

(BREAK)

A hatless man jumped out of car and dashed up the steps of the innkeeper's residence. He knocked loudly on the door. The man was demanding for an answer, not asking for it. The innkeeper's wife opened the door and opened her mouth to utter a greeting to the man she had seen at her door several times over the past few weeks.

But he jumped in before she could speak. "Where is Miss Starr?" he asked, with a tinge of desperation in his voice.

"She left mighty in a hurry this mornin'. Wouldn't even stop for her breakfast and paid her rent for two days' extra. I thought you might know. Ye don't?"

Teddy almost wanted to slam his fist against the wall in frustration. But not wanting to alert the innkeeper's wife to his present circumstances with Emily, he continued calmly. "She left home for an emergency. I wanted to know if she needed any help, but since she has left, I shan't delay you any longer."

"Well, wait a minute," the innkeeper's wife said. "I found a piece of foolscap in her room...I think she may be wantin' it, but since you have a better idea of her destination, you can send it along. It looks mighty important, quite scribbled on..." The woman rattled in and out, clutching finally the piece of paper. She handed it to him.

"Thank you," Teddy replied and stuffed the paper into his pocket.

_All right then. Just wanted to clarify. That was my theory as to why Emily accepted Dean's proposal. I hope you all understood that and it made sense. There was also a Blue Castle phrase..."a hatless man" taken from LMM..._


	10. Wisdom

"Emily!" Aunt Laura's voice pierced the bustling passengers as she hugged her niece tightly. "Emily child! How was your trip?"

"Fine, thank you, dearest of aunts," Emily's voice was muffled, so Aunt Laura did not notice the tinge of sadness or the fact that Emily seemed to want comfort.

She pulled back. "Look at you! You seem thinner though. Have you not been eating well? Well, Elizabeth has a cherry pie waiting in honor of your arrival! We missed you," she hugged Emily yet again. "And of course, Dean has been fairly haunting New Moon." At Emily's tightening up, Aunt Laura continued. "Oh, yes Dean! He arrived a week earlier than planned. We didn't send word because he wanted to surprise you. But he's waiting there. He said he'll visit tomorrow because you would be tired. Which you are...my poor dear,"

Emily mustered a smile. "Yes, a little"

"Let's go..." and Aunt Laura led her to the buggy home...

(BREAK)

He didn't eat dinner, just stared out at the dark sky. She didn't love him...he had prepared himself for the possibility, just not the fact she would flee to get away from him and not even say goodbye; weren't they chums at least? If he could not have her heart, he could at least take some possession of her friendship.

"Teddy?" His mother's voice near the door.

"Yes, mother?" He said wearily, almost dreading the incessant questions she would field at him.

But Aileen Kent said nothing. Instead, she crossed the room and took her son in her arms. Teddy, surprised, leaned his head on her shoulder. In her, he finally saw the wiseness of mothers, something Mrs. Kent had lacked for some time.

"Did she leave?" Mrs. Kent finally asked.

Teddy jerked back and got up crossing the porch. "Who, mother?" He asked, not facing her.

"I think you know who I mean,"

"What does it matter?" He threw back bitterly. "I made a mistake. Like you did. Only you paid for it for 28 years and I am paying for it now."

"I do not want you to be like me," she said. "I do not want you to forget what it was like to love...like I did."

"But your love was returned at least once," he said. "Mine is not,"

"And you know this because..?"

"I know," he cut her off. "The only woman I ever wanted in my life is someone I can never have. But it must make you feel better, no, Mother? I belong to no one else."

Aileen Kent gasped. But she came near him. " I never wanted you to suffer, Teddy. You know the story of your father and the letter now. But you don't seem to know that knowing this has changed me. I know I was not the best mother to you, Teddy, forgive me if you can, but I cannot watch to see my only son be unhappy when I know...." she trailed off. No, she could not break the one promise she made to Emily.

"What, mother?" Teddy sensed her hestitation. Is there something you would like to tell me?" He noticed her scar had become whiter. Whenever it did, she felt a deep emotion.

How she yearned to tell him! But she owed Emily her life back. And she could not betray the oath she had done. Emily had asked her not to tell Teddy of her love, and she must obey it.

"No, but find out," she entreated him. "Do not give up...and you, I know, are much like me. No one will suit you but the one."

He made no answer, but turned on his heel and left, arriving at his room. He moved to his coat pocket and took the piece of paper out. It may be his own ticket.......to her heart.

(BREAK)

The wedding was the day before and Emily was pacing back and forth in her room. Cousin Jimmy watched Emily and thought she must be thinking of a story and it beat him to think how she did it.

Yes, his Emily was growing up, Cousin Jimmy mused. He couldn't say he was the happiest of men knowing she would wed Dean Priest on the morrow. But what was good for Emily was good for him. Yet he noticed that ever since she had returned from Montreal two weeks before, she was a changed woman. How she had spurred Dean to preponing their wedding two months ahead...how she had said "she would like it to happen as soon as possible"...but watching her again, Cousin Jimmy noted it did not seem as if Emily was in high spirits. But was it another of his queer spells? Cousin Jimmy shook his head. Any girl would be happy on the day before her wedding. He was just probably affected by his somewhat dislike of Dean.

Perhaps Dean and Cousin Jimmy shared a kinship for he noted much of the same manner. As he went up the stairs to greet his future wife, he was struck by her pacing. He nodded a hello to Emily's Cousin Jimmy as Cousin Jimmy went down the stairs. Emily was quieter, a bit paler ever since Montreal. But was it modesty or something else? Lord knows he had pestered Emily for details about her trip but she remained obstinately silent. She discussed her purchases, the association with the Olivers (who had recently sent their last-minute regrets as a cousin of Mr. Oliver's had died) and the events she attended.

"Dearest," Dean said as he entered. Emily whirled around and smiled somewhat hastily.

"Forgive me," she said. "I did not hear you come in,"

He smiled, took her hand and kissed it. "I can forgive you anything."

"Is there anything you would like?" Emily asked, struggling to keep a portion of rebellion in her from rising up. _He can forgive you anything, he said! Tell him! Tell him how you feel! You love Teddy...how can you say you cannot be with him, when the Flavian and Montreal trip show you otherwise?_

"No, nothing. Just wanted to see you one last time as Miss Emily Starr," he teased and noted the open notevook laying on her desk.

"You're writing again?" He exclaimed. "Good for you, Em! Perhaps another book?" But in his eyes, Emily noted, a fire had risen despite his fervent good wishes.

"A friend told me," she said. "that I shouldn't forget my promise to Mr. Carpenter and the belief in myself and my writing."

The words hit home.

"Yes, yes, of course," Dean said. "As a married woman, you know, you shall be able to delineate characters more convincingly. Society will bring you much more quirks while wedded than not. You will have an access to a more colorful variety of people."

"Is that so?" Emily's voice was carefully neutral.

"I know so," he said and left her with a kiss on the cheek. "See you tomorrow, my wife," his words were weaved in with possession.

"Dean," she said, catching his sleeve. "I need to tell you something. Meet me near Lofty John's Bush tomorrow,"

"Of course, Emily," Dean said, puzzled. "Why?"

"I will have something I need then," she replied.


	11. Ending

He knew he did not have much time. It was 10 o'clock at night and he knew he was crazy as well. Could he have believed what Rhoda Stuart had told him, albeit snearingly? "So you are to attend Emily Starr's wedding then? I hear it is tomorrow."

He had flagged a rented car and managed to race to the Burnley household where he caught Ilse in her harebell blue bridesmaid dress. Ilse had a bone to pick of her own..."I can't understand why Emily didn't want me to stay with her tonight...and the wedding done so quickly and hap-hazardly?...Yes, it is just us home folk plus a few Priests here and there, well, in fact, everywhere...I was telling Dad that it was a bad omen...all the Priests nosediving here...and of course, we had to keep some...family relations with the Murrays..they had to stay somwhere, although their Priestliness is a bit much for me...never understood why they aren't Catholic..."

But he was running from her home, sprinting to New Moon. Ilse could not figure out what possesed 't he stay at least for a chat? Becoming more like Perry every day...what a Miller type of thing to do!

(BREAK)

Emily lay in her bed, watching the minutes slip by on the old clock. Oh, she couldn't bear it. Trying to sleep, her dreams were only fraught with images of Teddy...how he laughed, how much devotion he had shown to his art, their argument and their first kiss...and the memories beforehand, how he had tried to ask her to wait for him on the Tomorrow Road, their shared look during the Shrewsbury storm...

She got up. The torment was too much to bear. That was when she heard a whistle. A long whistle. Two high notes and one low. She grew pale, clutching at the bed post. She wanted to faint. Was she dreaming yet again? But somehow, Emily _knew _that Teddy was there, beneath the firs.

She grabbed a cloak and ran downstairs. No pride was left in her. She needed to go...it was something she owed herself.

Teddy saw her cross the threshold of New Moon and come to him. He wanted nothing more than to take her into his arms.

Emily saw him standing by the firs and her traitorous heart leapt at the sight of him.

When she neared him, he placed a finger on her lips.

"I am sorry for what I did, Emily," he said. "I am sorry that I could not be there for you when you needed it. I am sorry I could never win your love. And I am sorry that you felt the need to run from me when you only sought friendship and trust in me, which I betrayed."

"Teddy, I---" but he continued.

"I don't know what I did what I did. But you were my inspiration always. And you will always be. But you know I want nothing but for you to be happy, even if it's not with me. I didn't have any other time but to give you this and my best wishes. I heard you're getting married tomorrow and I don't know when you'll be back after the wedding, and I pretty much understand that my presence probably will not be welcomed...here,"

He thrust the crumbled sheet of paper in her hand. Emily stared and started.

"Do you know what this is?" she whispered. "Did you read it?" her voice rose, almost panicked.

"No," he said indignantly. "I'm not a cheat,"

But Emily was beyond his words of anger. Here was her answer...when she was pacing, she had asked for an answer from Fate about her dilemma. She needed a sign, anything, that would show her what path she would take. She couldn't endure it any longer. That's why she has asked Dean to meet her there...to tell him what she truly wanted.

And now here it was. And the sureness that filled her was something that she had never felt before. The sweetness of love only completed the revelation. And here was the man she was always destined for. Yes, Fate had given a definite answer.

"Let me read it to you," she said, tears filling her eyes. And she did.

As the words caught meaning, Teddy's mood changed from remorse to uncertainty to happiness. When she finished, he held her. They stayed that way for minutes...Vega of the Lyre seemed to burst with light and flickered brillantly.

"I love you," she sobbed. "Fate only led me to you again and again. I was just scared about seeing my heart break but 'tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"

"I know," he said, kissing her hair. "I swear I will never hurt you, Emily. My love for you cannot let me commit that sin."

She pulled away from him for a moment. "What made you come?" she asked, looking into his eyes.

"Fate," he said gently. " Only it could."

(BREAK)

She met him again near Lofty John's Bush two years later. Wearing the whitest veil and the laciest gown, she came on the arm of Cousin Jimmy. She stood opposite him as they both repeated the oldest, yet most sacred of vows that never have lost their tremendous power in uniting two souls who desire to pledge their troth until death do them part.

The crowds of faces were only in smiles. Ilse and Perry stood side by side, occasionally ribbing one another but sneaking glances when he or she thought the other was not looking.

Dr. Burnley was seen wiping away a few tears and spending most of his time comforting Aunt Laura whose tears ran in number.

The Olivers were there, with Mrs. Oliver whispering to a dour Aunt Ruth about the lovely scenery. Aunt Ruth, who had deemed the parlor as the only proper place for a wedding, had to endure it for she could not make a scene in front of the other guests who seemed to be looking at them in amusement.

Mrs. Kent stood nearby, watching her son repeating the words after the minister. How she wished David could be there on this day! But even she knew her husband must be watching somehow...

And Aunt Elizabeth worried very little now about her niece who was in good hands. Yes, Frederick Kent was a good man...

Old Mr. Kelly had come by as well, much to the disgust of the Murrays to leave a present for Emily. The card read "Now that's something like." There was another envelope too, a deed to the Disappointed House it contained...with the promise that when Dean really had become old, he would come one day.

And so we end this chapter and only wish the very best that can be foreboded. But Fate has assured us a happy ending, which all stories should end in...

COMPLETE!!! WOHOO!! HOPE YOU ENJOYED!!!


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